Author: DwightClough

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem, scholars from the East arrived in Jerusalem asking around town, “Where’s the recently born king of the Jews? We followed His star and we’re here to worship Him.” Matthew 2:1-2

Why is it that some can recognize the presence of Christ, while others miss it entirely?

All my life I have been fascinated by these scholars—these “Wise Men” or the Magi. Who were they? How far did they travel? And how did they know? How did they know that this was no ordinary king? How did they know that the star signified more than just a new regime, but rather a king who needed to be worshiped?

There was a star. Surely other people saw it. Yet no one else followed the star so far as we know. Why?

These kings or astrologers or whatever they were arrived at city that was clueless. The greatest events of history were happening in nearby Bethlehem, but nobody seemed to know anything about it. It took someone from the outside to point it out.

I don’t know the answers to most of these questions. I’m not sure God provides answers to them.

But I do know that the One who was born under the star still wants to be found. He wants to be found by every part of us, including the parts that forgot to look. He wants to be found not only by the religious part of us, but also by the scared part, the tempted part, the angry part, the apathetic part, the hopeful part. Let’s take the journey to Bethlehem. Let’s find the One who came to put us back together.

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: Although the traditional answer is three, the Bible does not say how many Magi or Wise Men came to visit the child Jesus.
New question: How soon after the shepherds visited baby Jesus did the Magi (Wise Men) visit?

I plan to get back to the topic of forgiving others, but wanted to take the next few posts and focus on Christmas…

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem, scholars from the East arrived in Jerusalem asking around town, “Where’s the recently born king of the Jews? We followed His star and we’re here to worship Him.” This announcement caught King Herod and his buddies off guard. His mind started racing. A new king? The promised Messiah? Over my dead body! Matthew 2:1-3

The world is full of people who are disturbed by the news that a King has been born.

Herod is so crazed with power that when he finds out the news that the Messiah has been born, his first response is to try to find him and kill him. The people of Jerusalem also somehow seem to know that this Messiah came to save them from their sins, and they wanted no such salvation.

Why do we resist letting Christ be King? I suggest it’s because we believe a lie. Herod believed the lie that he could hold on to power and that power would protect him. But he died, just like everyone else, and all his power was stripped from him.

Where are we unwilling to let Christ reign? In our fears? In our lusts? In our pride? In our greed?

We all have a line someplace in our souls. On one side we say “yes” to Christ; on the other side we say “no.” In between is the lie. That is our spiritual journey. Follow the “yes’s” until we get to the lie. Then let Jesus tell us the truth, so that another “no” can be turned to a “yes.”

I’m not saying this is easy. It requires great courage to find the border of our faith—but that is where Christ takes us—out into the deep. But it is out in the deep that we let down our nets and discover what we never dreamed was there.

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: The Philistines captured the Ark of the Covenant and held it for several months.
New question: According to the Bible, how many Magi or Wise Men came to visit the child Jesus?

Myth #6: Forgiving an offender removes protective boundaries
Truth: Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

In an ideal world, we would always reconcile with those who hurt us. But we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in a fallen world. Sometimes reconciliation is possible; sometimes it is not.

Forgiveness	Reconciliation
Forgiveness is based on truth.	Reconciliation is based on trust.
Forgiving others changes your heart.	Reconciliation changes the relationship.
Protective boundaries stay in place with forgiveness.	Protective boundaries are partially removed with reconciliation.
Forgiveness depends on your choices.	Reconciliation depends on the other party’s choices.
Forgiveness is possible through Jesus.	Reconciliation is sometimes impossible.

Forgiveness does not automatically restore a relationship. For example, if someone harmed one of my children, I would look to Jesus for the grace to forgive. But I wouldn’t willingly allow that person to have any further access to my children. Relationships are built on trust, and if trust is not deserved, then a relationship cannot exist.

Someone I care about was raped. Although I think forgiveness is an important part of the healing process, I did everything in my power to protect the victim from having any contact with the perpetrator. I also championed the prosecution of the man who committed the crime. Simply because we may choose to forgive does not mean that the legal system should forgive. No. They have a different responsibility before God. It isn’t our job to dispense justice, but it is their job to dispense it. We are not vigilantes; we are citizens.

More next time.

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: The prophet Samuel anointed both King Saul and King David as kings of Israel.
New question: Who captured the Ark of the Covenant and held it for several months?

Myth #5: Forgiveness takes place when we declare the offender forgiven.
Truth: The words “I forgive you” in themselves are not a magic incantation.

These words do not automatically result in forgiveness. Forgiveness is sometimes thought of as an act of the will, summoning the willpower to say those words aloud. But true forgiveness goes deeper than that. When true forgiveness takes place, the anger isn’t buried; it’s gone.

How is this possible? It’s only possible when Jesus grants us the truth that sets us free. That is, He shares with us God’s perspective on what happened and where we stand after we sustained the damage that we did. Once we see things from God’s perspective, forgiving others is easy. Until we do, it’s impossible.

More next time.

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: Bethlehem is the hometown of King David.
New question: King Saul and King David were both selected for their role as king by what Old Testament prophet?

Myth #4: If we forgive, we are condoning sin
Truth: Forgiveness is not about rationalizing or minimizing the offense.

Telling ourselves that “it wasn’t really that bad” or “he didn’t really mean to…” or “she was under a lot of pressure when she…” does not resolve the anger or result in forgiveness. The offense is what it is.

Forgiveness is not the same as condoning someone’s behavior. Sin is sin. The Bible says, “Woe to those who call evil good.”

Forgiveness is not denial (“It didn’t really hurt.“) or minimizing (“I’m sure he had a good reason for raping me.”).

Rather, forgiveness is about looking honestly at what happened, and coming to an understanding that God’s grace is bigger than what happened.

More next time…

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: Daniel, Zechariah and Mary each spoke with the angel Gabriel.
New question: Bethlehem is known as the birthplace of Jesus. It is also the hometown of what important Old Testament person?

Forgiveness Myth #3: To forgive, we must bury our anger.

Truth: To forgive, we must face and acknowledge our anger, not bury it.

Yoda’s advice to his Jedi followers is almost the worst thing you can do with anger. Many people believe that Christians should bury their anger, deny it, suppress it, “forget” about it. None of those things work. The anger remains and festers inside like a cancer. Eventually it comes back out as illness, depression or an explosion of violent emotion.

Denial is a cheap substitute for grace. Lying to ourselves about what we really feel is what we do when we don’t know what else to do. But Jesus is strong enough to handle the truth. He knows what’s really inside each of us anyway.

The first step to forgiving is to acknowledge how angry we really are. Only then can we find grace big enough take that anger and replace it with peace.

More next time…

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: Joshua, Elijah and Elisha each parted the Jordan River and crossed over on dry ground.
New question: What do Daniel, Zechariah and Mary all have in common?

Forgiveness Myth #2: If we forgive a perpetrator, we give that person power
Truth: Forgiveness does not empower the offender.

Most of us instinctively think that we will empower the offender by forgiving. The opposite is true. When we forgive, we empower ourselves, because the offense no longer drains us of the energy required to keep our anger alive. In fact, if the enemy can inspire us to hate our neighbor, then he has won. This is why we turn all the debts owed to us over to Jesus. Then we can bless and not curse. (Romans 12:14)

More next time.

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: Luke is the longest book in the New Testament. (Although Matthew and Acts each have more chapters, Luke has more words.)
New question: What do Joshua, Elijah and Elisha have in common?

Forgiveness Myth #1: We need to try hard to forgive
Truth: We don’t have the ability to forgive—apart from Christ

For years, I believed forgiving others was something we needed to try real hard to do. I finally figured out that there is no trying hard enough. Forgiving others is impossible—on our own.

If, somehow, you owed me $1,000,000 and you couldn’t pay—it would wipe me out to cancel the debt. In the same way, the evil done to us is so great that the perpetrators cannot afford to make restitution and we cannot afford to forgive. Yet we must forgive. What do we do?

We bring those debts to Jesus. Only Jesus can restore what was stolen from us. When we let go, He mends and heals what was broken and restores what was taken. Only He can take the hate from us and replace it with love.

Christianity is impossible. That’s why we have a Savior.

More next time.

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: Jeremiah has almost as many words as Psalms in most English Bibles. (However, in the original language, Jeremiah and Genesis each contain more words than Psalms.)
New question: What is the longest book in the New Testament?

God doesn’t make mistakes. He created us with the ability and the need to get angry sometimes. Do righteous men and women get angry? You bet they do! There is plenty in this world to get angry about.

But anger is like dynamite. Mishandled, it can get you into a lot of trouble. In this mixed-up world, sometimes we cannot use that anger for its intended use—to correct a problem or injustice—because sometimes we don’t have the freedom to do so.

So what do we do? We trade up. We hand the anger over to Jesus and see what He has in exchange for us. It might be peace. It might be joy. It might be some new insight that we never had before. It might be a plan. I don’t know what it will be, I just know that any time you give anything to God you always get something better in return.

In other words, we forgive.

More next time.

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: The Old Testament was originally written in Hebrew (a small portion was written in Aramaic, a related language). The New Testament was originally written in Greek, the trade language of the Eastern Roman Empire.
New question: Psalms is the largest book in most English translations of the Bible. Which book has almost as many words as Psalms?

I’d like to take a few posts and share several thoughts about the much misunderstood process of forgiving others.

Here’s the first: You can only forgive from a position of strength.

Some people are unwilling to forgive because they see it as a sign of weakness. Quite the opposite is true. You cannot forgive from a position of weakness. It just isn’t possible.

Some are afraid that forgiving an abuser turns you into a doormat—a target for abuse. Again, that’s not what forgiveness is about. If you have the power to remove an abuser from your life, use it! God doesn’t want you to be a victim of abuse. Forgiving the abuser does not invite him/her back into your life. Rather, it’s an important step in the process of preventing yourself from incurring additional harm from that abuser.

More next time.

These thoughts are adapted from the course Spiritual Self Defense. More info here:

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Bible trivia:
Answer from last time: Joab (David’s military commander) and his armor bearers killed David’s son Absalom.
New question: What language was the Bible originally written in?