Author: DwightClough

Now I’m a dad of adult children. And I hear stories of their lives, and sometimes I hear stories of how they’ve been bullied in the workplace.

I know I can’t go to their place of employment and put those bullies in their place. (Although part of me would really enjoy doing it.) Instead, what I desire most for my children is for them to be cheerfully victorious.

What I want for my children is for them to be so filled with peace, and wisdom, and fun, that they take on these bullies as just another challenge they will dispatch with ease.

I want them to win.

Hear me. I’m not saying I want them to make someone else lose; I’m saying I want them to win. There’s a difference. It’s the internal mindset that says, “You don’t have the power to get to me.”

And here we have lesson #3: God wants us to win.

He coaches us. He celebrates us, and is working to make sure that each one of us is the best version of ourselves. He prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies because He is that confident. In Himself. And in us.

God is coaching the winning team. And we—His kids—are on it.

I’m skipping over a lot—like how God brags about us (Job 1:8, 2:3), how He heals our hurts (2 Corinthians 1:3-4), and the list goes on. But these last few blog posts cover three things that stand out in my mind.

How about you? When you think of the father heart of God, what comes to your mind?

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

Our son Hans was a polar bear. Even in the coldest weather, if he could, he would escape the confines of the house and wander around outside with bare feet and no coat. I was afraid that Child Protective Services would see the little bare footprints in the snow and charge us with child abuse.

He was never cold. Or so I thought. So one day we went sledding. While everyone else was wearing snowsuits, extra socks, gloves—the whole winter get out, he was wearing a thin coat and little yellow rubber rain boots. Hans never gets cold, I reasoned.

And then I saw him shivering.

“What an idiot I’ve been!” I told myself, as I scooped him up and rushed him to the car where I turned on the heater full blast.

And so here we have lesson #2: When we hurt, God hurts.

Instantly. Completely. Without reservation. He feels our pain. He cares. More deeply than we will ever know.

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

“Boy, if I ever have kids I’m gonna teach ‘em to behave.” That was my pre-fatherhood concept of fathering.

Then our daughter—our first child—was born. One tenth of a second after she was born, my whole idea of making my kids obey went right out the window.

Wow! I was overwhelmed. I never knew what an honor it was to hold in my own arms a child—a life God had entrusted to me. To me! Why had this secret of fatherhood been so long withheld from me?

I found myself standing there, filled with wonder that I couldn’t put into words.

What an honor it was to be someone’s dad.

So that was my first lesson. God loves being our father.

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

I start here. I was terrified of my dad. As a child, yes, he was my protector. But I never felt safe with him.

It took me a long time to understand that my dad and I are the same person:

• Sometimes, he lost his temper. Sometimes, I lost my temper.
• Sometimes he didn’t understand me. Sometimes I didn’t understand my own children.
• I sometimes misinterpreted his actions and misunderstood his motives. My own children have sometimes misinterpreted my actions and misunderstood my motives.

Into this tangled up journey of understanding my own father and learning to honor him, has come a connected journey: understanding the father heart of God.

So, who is He? Who is this Father who towers above all other fathers?

Is He interested purely in controlling our behavior—getting us to obey? Is He disgusted with our failures? Does He regret forgiving us of our sins? Is He unhappy with us? Are we a nuisance to Him?

I once believed all those things. Learning to unlearn those things has been my journey, and I’ll share snapshots of that over the next three blog posts.

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

Those of you who know me know I have no great affinity for dogs.

Sorry. To you dog lovers out there, sorry.

Video here, and/or read on.

I just don’t. Bad childhood experiences, maybe, or whatever, but I grew up terrified of dogs. Even a little yappy canine could paralyze me in fear.

Of course, God has been at work on this. One cold winter day I was walking through a park when I saw off in the distance a rottweiler and owner walking toward me. The dog was unleashed. He came bounding toward me. When he got up to me, he placed my gloved hand into his mouth.

Hmm. I hollered to the owner: “Would you mind taking your dog’s teeth off my hand?”

She ran up. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “He has this thing about gloves.”

She removed the dog, and they went on their way.

Then I took stock. I wasn’t shaking. I wasn’t breathing hard. My heart wasn’t pounding. I was just a little annoyed.

Wow! What a change! I can only credit that to God.

I’m still a work in progress in this department, but, hey, God is at work in me. And I believe He is at work in you as well—whatever your particular challenges might be.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Video here, and/or read on:

You can’t manufacture fruit. If you try, the fruit will be inedible. Fruit must be organically grown.

I notice that this is the fruit of the Spirit. It isn’t the fruit of my efforts. It isn’t. Stop and think about that.

This isn’t the fruit of “three easy steps to joy.” No. It’s the fruit of the Spirit. It isn’t the fruit of my hard work, my being good, my trying harder.

If we lack love, joy, peace, and all the rest, we don’t NEED love, joy, peace, and so on. We NEED the Spirit. We need God. We invite Jesus into our lack, and there the fruit grows.

One more thought: Fruit doesn’t just pop out on the branches the first day of spring. It grows over time. In the same way, the fruit of the Spirit will grow in our lives over time if we continue to make room for Jesus.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17 NIV

Video here, and/or read on:

The person who wants what they cannot have will never be happy. They will just stew and stew until they do something stupid, like trying to take something that belongs to someone else. Then they create all kinds of pain for themselves and for those around them.

God wants us to enjoy life. We can’t enjoy life if we crave things we cannot possess.

This doesn’t mean that we abandon all ambition. That idea belongs to a different world religion, not to Christianity. We can and should want things that we can have. We can and should pray, plan, work, and save for things God wants us to pursue.

Meanwhile, we are content. We are grateful. We are complete whether we get the frosting or just eat the cake. We have Jesus, and that is enough.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” Exodus 20:16 NIV

What can we learn about God from this commandment?

Video here, and/or read on:

Some time ago I heard about a police officer who stopped a man who was walking down the street, arrested him, planted drugs on him, got him convicted for selling drugs, and got him sent to prison.

I don’t want something like this to happen to me. I don’t want it to happen to you.

In this commandment, God is making it clear that He wants to protect all of us from this kind of injustice. God loves justice. He protects your reputation. And He values truth.

I’m glad He does.

In the case of the police officer, he confessed to what he had done, the falsely accused man forgave him, and the two ended up becoming friends. God knows how to pick up broken pieces of shattered lives and turn them into something beautiful.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.

Back in the 1970s and early 1980s, I worked for the Ohio Adult Parole Authority. My main job was trying to make sure that the felons I supervised didn’t get into trouble again. That meant I drove around a lot, talked to a lot of people, and wrote a lot of reports.

Anyway, years later, I was cleaning out some junk in my home and I found 76 ink pens with “State of Ohio” written on them. Oops! With a pang of conscience, I wrapped them all up and mailed them back to my old employer.

“You shall not steal,” God says in the Ten Commandments. Theft—why does it matter to God?

Video here, and/or keep reading.

Like all the other Commandments, this one is also a window into God’s heart. I think God is saying two things about Himself here. First, he values your labor. The time, energy, and sacrifice you put into making a living matters to Him. Second, while our possessions do not provide ultimate security (that only comes from God), they do provide a measure of security. Without food, clothing, and shelter, we would be hurting. Without the means to make a living, we’d be hurting.

There was a time when I thought God’s requirements were arbitrary—they didn’t make sense to me. But the more I looked at the reason why, the more I see that God’s Commandments flow out of His loving heart toward us.

Dwight

PS. We make resolutions or set goals, yet sometimes something seems to be holding us back. Why can’t we lose weight, write that book, finish that project? What’s holding us back? Many times it’s hidden, inner barriers that God wants to remove from our lives. This week in Inner Wealth we’ll explore how that process works.

As we work our way through the Ten Commandments, we come to this command: “Do not commit adultery.” Why is this important to God?

Video here, and/or read on.

Every marriage goes through seasons; mine certainly has. Sure, there were moments when I was passionately, deliriously in love with my wife, but there were also moments when I wondered what drug induced me to say, “I do.”

Yet about marriage, God says, “Take good care of this. Don’t break it.”

Why does He care?

I’ve found that if you look carefully at the commands of God you usually find that God is watching out for the most vulnerable person in the room. In this case, His eye is on His precious children. He wants them to grow up in a stable, loving home. He’s also looking out for the marriage partners, of course. Who wants their heart torn to pieces by a spouse who isn’t faithful?

But I think there’s another piece to the puzzle here. People who have affairs are looking for something. The only problem is: You can’t find it in the other man/woman. It isn’t there. The foundational comfort, affirmation, and enjoyment of life that we’re looking for doesn’t come from other people; it comes from God. When people try to find it in a marriage partner, they will be disappointed. It’s easy to think that we just picked the wrong person, that we need to look for someone else. But that’s an endless search that will only end when we look heavenward and find our rest in Him.

Dwight

PS. We make resolutions or set goals, yet sometimes something seems to be holding us back. Why can’t we lose weight, write that book, finish that project? What’s holding us back? Many times it’s hidden, inner barriers that God wants to remove from our lives. This week in Inner Wealth we’ll explore how that process works.