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“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:21-24 NIV

Some passages take a lifetime to understand. This is one of them.

We live in a broken world filled with broken people. As a consequence, we constantly feel the need to defend our turf, to assert our own independence, to protect ourselves from being hurt again, to hang on to whatever little bit of power we might have.

Into this reality comes the counter-intuitive command: Submit.

Our minds imagine abuse, oppression, dominance, bullying. It can take years—decades even—to come to the place of trusting God enough to submit to Him. But to submit to another human being, one that we can see is riddled with flaws, why would God ask us to do such a thing?

As I say, the full answer takes a lifetime to understand. But I’ll give you one small piece of it:

A few years ago, I was negotiating a business deal with some men who held more power than I did. The terms they were offering were—in my mind—unfair. I needed them, they knew it, and, as a consequence, I was getting the short end of the deal. This bothered me. A lot. But then I talked it over with God. And He said something to me that changed everything for me:

“These guys can’t hurt you.”

I signed the deal. I went along with what I had no power to change. In the end, I walked away with money I wouldn’t have otherwise had. It worked out okay.

I don’t pretend that little story will solve everybody’s hangups with the “S” word. But I want to give you a place to start. Talk it over with God. See what He has to say.

Dwight

PS. On 5/25/2019 our Inner Wealth topic will be how to overcome guilt, shame, and condemnation. Since many people don’t understand the difference between true and false guilt, and the very different strategies we use to resolve each, we’ll be explaining that in detail.

“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” Matthew 24:36 NASB

This is a tough passage that brings up challenging theological questions: How does the Father (God) know something the Son (Jesus) doesn’t know? Is Jesus speaking as a man or as God the Son? Does God exist inside time or outside time? Could the Father exist outside of time and the Son inside of time? If God exists outside of time, then does He know everything that will ever happen? If He knows it, did He predestine it? If He predestined it, then do we have free will? Or, like Dr. Strange of the Marvel Universe, does He just know all the things that could happen?

Without attempting to answer all of those questions, let me offer two takeaways:

(1) The return of Jesus Christ to this earth is the Father’s gift to His Son and to all of us who follow Jesus. In some way, this gift is gift wrapped, and it will only be opened at the last moment.

(2) Always be ready. We don’t know when Jesus will return. But, until He does, we are His representatives on this earth. The only Jesus some people will ever know is the Jesus they see when they look at you.

How do we be ready? Open the door. Let Him in. Let Him be who He wants to be, and do what He wants to do. He is returning to this earth. No one can stop that. But we can be ready by making room for Him in our lives today, right now.

Dwight

PS. On 5/25/2019 our Inner Wealth topic will be how to overcome guilt, shame, and condemnation. Since many people don’t understand the difference between true and false guilt, and the very different strategies we use to resolve each, we’ll be explaining that in detail.

Now I’m a dad of adult children. And I hear stories of their lives, and sometimes I hear stories of how they’ve been bullied in the workplace.

I know I can’t go to their place of employment and put those bullies in their place. (Although part of me would really enjoy doing it.) Instead, what I desire most for my children is for them to be cheerfully victorious.

What I want for my children is for them to be so filled with peace, and wisdom, and fun, that they take on these bullies as just another challenge they will dispatch with ease.

I want them to win.

Hear me. I’m not saying I want them to make someone else lose; I’m saying I want them to win. There’s a difference. It’s the internal mindset that says, “You don’t have the power to get to me.”

And here we have lesson #3: God wants us to win.

He coaches us. He celebrates us, and is working to make sure that each one of us is the best version of ourselves. He prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies because He is that confident. In Himself. And in us.

God is coaching the winning team. And we—His kids—are on it.

I’m skipping over a lot—like how God brags about us (Job 1:8, 2:3), how He heals our hurts (2 Corinthians 1:3-4), and the list goes on. But these last few blog posts cover three things that stand out in my mind.

How about you? When you think of the father heart of God, what comes to your mind?

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

Our son Hans was a polar bear. Even in the coldest weather, if he could, he would escape the confines of the house and wander around outside with bare feet and no coat. I was afraid that Child Protective Services would see the little bare footprints in the snow and charge us with child abuse.

He was never cold. Or so I thought. So one day we went sledding. While everyone else was wearing snowsuits, extra socks, gloves—the whole winter get out, he was wearing a thin coat and little yellow rubber rain boots. Hans never gets cold, I reasoned.

And then I saw him shivering.

“What an idiot I’ve been!” I told myself, as I scooped him up and rushed him to the car where I turned on the heater full blast.

And so here we have lesson #2: When we hurt, God hurts.

Instantly. Completely. Without reservation. He feels our pain. He cares. More deeply than we will ever know.

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

“Boy, if I ever have kids I’m gonna teach ‘em to behave.” That was my pre-fatherhood concept of fathering.

Then our daughter—our first child—was born. One tenth of a second after she was born, my whole idea of making my kids obey went right out the window.

Wow! I was overwhelmed. I never knew what an honor it was to hold in my own arms a child—a life God had entrusted to me. To me! Why had this secret of fatherhood been so long withheld from me?

I found myself standing there, filled with wonder that I couldn’t put into words.

What an honor it was to be someone’s dad.

So that was my first lesson. God loves being our father.

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

I start here. I was terrified of my dad. As a child, yes, he was my protector. But I never felt safe with him.

It took me a long time to understand that my dad and I are the same person:

• Sometimes, he lost his temper. Sometimes, I lost my temper.
• Sometimes he didn’t understand me. Sometimes I didn’t understand my own children.
• I sometimes misinterpreted his actions and misunderstood his motives. My own children have sometimes misinterpreted my actions and misunderstood my motives.

Into this tangled up journey of understanding my own father and learning to honor him, has come a connected journey: understanding the father heart of God.

So, who is He? Who is this Father who towers above all other fathers?

Is He interested purely in controlling our behavior—getting us to obey? Is He disgusted with our failures? Does He regret forgiving us of our sins? Is He unhappy with us? Are we a nuisance to Him?

I once believed all those things. Learning to unlearn those things has been my journey, and I’ll share snapshots of that over the next three blog posts.

Dwight

PS. On May 18, the Inner Wealth topic will be neutralizing unpleasant emotions. We’ll talk about where unpleasant emotions come from, two categories of unpleasant emotions, and step-by-step tactics you can take to return to peace and joy.

Those of you who know me know I have no great affinity for dogs.

Sorry. To you dog lovers out there, sorry.

Video here, and/or read on.

I just don’t. Bad childhood experiences, maybe, or whatever, but I grew up terrified of dogs. Even a little yappy canine could paralyze me in fear.

Of course, God has been at work on this. One cold winter day I was walking through a park when I saw off in the distance a rottweiler and owner walking toward me. The dog was unleashed. He came bounding toward me. When he got up to me, he placed my gloved hand into his mouth.

Hmm. I hollered to the owner: “Would you mind taking your dog’s teeth off my hand?”

She ran up. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “He has this thing about gloves.”

She removed the dog, and they went on their way.

Then I took stock. I wasn’t shaking. I wasn’t breathing hard. My heart wasn’t pounding. I was just a little annoyed.

Wow! What a change! I can only credit that to God.

I’m still a work in progress in this department, but, hey, God is at work in me. And I believe He is at work in you as well—whatever your particular challenges might be.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Video here, and/or read on:

You can’t manufacture fruit. If you try, the fruit will be inedible. Fruit must be organically grown.

I notice that this is the fruit of the Spirit. It isn’t the fruit of my efforts. It isn’t. Stop and think about that.

This isn’t the fruit of “three easy steps to joy.” No. It’s the fruit of the Spirit. It isn’t the fruit of my hard work, my being good, my trying harder.

If we lack love, joy, peace, and all the rest, we don’t NEED love, joy, peace, and so on. We NEED the Spirit. We need God. We invite Jesus into our lack, and there the fruit grows.

One more thought: Fruit doesn’t just pop out on the branches the first day of spring. It grows over time. In the same way, the fruit of the Spirit will grow in our lives over time if we continue to make room for Jesus.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17 NIV

Video here, and/or read on:

The person who wants what they cannot have will never be happy. They will just stew and stew until they do something stupid, like trying to take something that belongs to someone else. Then they create all kinds of pain for themselves and for those around them.

God wants us to enjoy life. We can’t enjoy life if we crave things we cannot possess.

This doesn’t mean that we abandon all ambition. That idea belongs to a different world religion, not to Christianity. We can and should want things that we can have. We can and should pray, plan, work, and save for things God wants us to pursue.

Meanwhile, we are content. We are grateful. We are complete whether we get the frosting or just eat the cake. We have Jesus, and that is enough.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” Exodus 20:16 NIV

What can we learn about God from this commandment?

Video here, and/or read on:

Some time ago I heard about a police officer who stopped a man who was walking down the street, arrested him, planted drugs on him, got him convicted for selling drugs, and got him sent to prison.

I don’t want something like this to happen to me. I don’t want it to happen to you.

In this commandment, God is making it clear that He wants to protect all of us from this kind of injustice. God loves justice. He protects your reputation. And He values truth.

I’m glad He does.

In the case of the police officer, he confessed to what he had done, the falsely accused man forgave him, and the two ended up becoming friends. God knows how to pick up broken pieces of shattered lives and turn them into something beautiful.

Dwight

PS. How do you overcome temptation? Why are we tested, and what strategy can we use to overcome those tests? Why do we sin? Are we doomed to sin because we’re sinners and we have a sin nature? How do we find God’s grace to overcome sin? That’s our Inner Wealth topic starting 5/11/2019.