Author: DwightClough

Some parents work to form a relationship with their children. They listen to them. They care about their feelings. They validate them. They understand that their children are also human beings who are learning to interpret their experiences and make responsible decisions. They gain their leadership role in a child’s life primarily from the relational investment.

Other parents want to control their children. The child’s feelings and experiences are irrelevant; what matters is the child’s attitude and behavior. They don’t want to “spoil” their child. They gravitate quickly to the “spare the rod and spoil the child” passages, but don’t imagine that the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, might have anything to do with parenting. Their authority in a child’s life comes from their power and their position as parents.

I’m oversimplifying here to make a point: For many years I didn’t understand that God is a relational Father. I just thought He was busy managing behavior; it didn’t occur to me that He might deeply care about how you and I feel and what we are experiencing. Once I began understanding that, then prayer stopped being a spiritual discipline and became an opportunity to hang out with Someone who loves me.

I have listened to Christian leaders who believe that our feelings are inconvenient nuisances that we should try to ignore as much as possible—especially our hurt feelings. I’m glad God doesn’t feel that way. He cares about you—and by receiving His care for us we will find a wellspring of love with which to care for others.

From the Bible:
…He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by Randy Heinitz, Flickr, Creative Commons License

There’s something very comforting about having a home.

In the late 1970s, I worked as a parole officer for the state of Ohio. My job involved a great deal of driving as I served two or three rural counties. At the time, I was coming to terms with my own feelings of isolation born partly of being an Air Force brat and moving over 25 times by the time I was 25. I remember well the lonely feeling of wanting to drive and drive and drive, and then step out of my car and be home.

In 1992, we were homeless—staying here or there wherever someone would put us up for a few nights. One cold night, I remember driving down the highway and suddenly feeling overwhelmed and disoriented. Which exit was ours? My car passed under one green sign after another, but none of them pointed home.

To have a place in God’s heart, at His table, in His family—to know that Jesus has gone ahead to prepare a place for you and for me—how can we put a value on gifts like these?

Thank You, God, that You have given us a home.

From the Bible:
…my destiny is to live in God’s home forever. Psalm 23:6 The Easy Bible

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by Dale, Flickr, Creative Commons License

God is not stingy.

For me, my children’s clothing has been a metaphor of God’s provision. We have four children. The oldest is now twenty-three. When they were growing up, we spent very little on children’s clothing. In fact, often when we did spend money, the next day someone (without knowing what we bought), went out and purchased the very same thing for us. So does this mean our children were clothed in rags, that they shivered through the winter in threadbare clothes? Not at all! In fact, one year we gave away seventy-five large (lawn & garden size) plastic bags full of children’s clothing.

We all have needs. When I originally wrote this post in 2003, we had no income. One promising business or job opportunity after another fell through leaving us with nothing. Yet, despite these setbacks, we always had enough to eat, clothes to wear and a place to live. God has supplied our needs in many different ways.

And He will supply yours.

From the Bible:
I cannot contain all the good God pours out on me. God’s love is all around me, filling my life with goodness… Psalm 23:5-6 The Easy Bible

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by Rocco Lucia, Flickr, Creative Commons License

In the movie, Forrest Gump, Forrest’s mother is dying, and he asks her, “What is my destiny, Mama?”

She shakes her head. “You’re going to have to figure that out for yourself,” she says.

His question grabs me. I don’t know about you, but I want to know my name. I want to know who I am and why I’m here. I know why people are here; I read Rick Warren’s Purpose-Driven Life, and, of course, I’ve read the Bible. But why am I here? What unique place do I have in this universe?

What identity, what destiny, what character, power and authority has God imparted to you?

Jacob wrestled with God and gained the name Israel. May you also find your identity in Him.

From the Bible:
Then He puts a sign on me that I am His treasured possession. Psalm 23:5 The Easy Bible

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by gianni, Flickr, Creative Commons License

#1 Sexual purity creates a high-trust marriage. God’s plan eliminates betrayal, competition, second guessing and places a high value on your life’s partner.

#2 Sexual purity creates a safe, stable two-parent family for children to grow up in. No judgment if you’re a single parent—you have a tough job, and we’re with you. God wants the most vulnerable people—little children—to be safe, secure and loved. Vast segments of our culture have been devastated because fathers are not fully present in the lives of their children.

#3 Sexual purity prevents the spread of sexually-transmitted disease. Every additional partner exponentially increases the risk of infection.

#4 Sexual purity models the relationship of God and His people. This recurring analogy throughout the Bible points to God’s desire to share His place in our lives with no one else.

Of course, none of these reasons will make any sense especially in the heat of the moment if you don’t have a meaningful, transformational relationship with God through Jesus. The more you welcome God into your life, the more His ways make sense.

From the Bible:
Honor your marriage and its vows, and be pure; for God will surely punish all those who are immoral or commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4 TLB

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by Damian Gadal, Creative Commons License

This is what we all have in common. We all have a line in our hearts. On one side, we’ve said “yes” to Jesus. On the other, we have not yet said “yes.”

Christians love to camp out on the yes side, and we’d like to pretend the no side doesn’t exist. We sometimes hope that if we ignore the no side long enough, it will just go away.

But it doesn’t work that way. God and our enemy are allied in this one thing: they both take us over to the no side. The enemy takes us over there to destroy us. God takes us over there to transform us.

The only way we grow is to move the line so a bigger portion of our heart says “yes.” That means we need to come out of denial, face the next “no,” and figure out why we can’t say “yes.”

Why can’t we say yes? What are the reasons?

Those reasons matter. They are lies. When we hold those reasons up to Jesus, He gives us the truth that sets us free (John 8:32). When the why gets fixed, turning a no to a yes is easy.

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Psalm 23:5

I am glad that we serve a self-confident God. He is so sure of Himself that He spreads out the tablecloth, opens the picnic basket and sits down with His little children right in the middle of the battlefield.

And there’s nothing the enemies can do about it! This is beyond victory. This is a gentle reminder that God is in a totally different league than His enemies. Even despite our many mistakes and vulnerabilities, He is certain of triumph.

I don’t underestimate the power of the devil or the hold he has on people’s lives. I just find it encouraging that even though God knows the full extent the devil’s horrifying character and power, He still stripped Himself of thrones and power, and entered this world as a helpless little baby.

Jesus went about healing all who were under the power of the devil; and, now, we His church do the same. This is more than victory; this is celebration.

May God give you reason to celebrate!

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by Colin, Flickr, Creative Commons License

I remember a kid—we called him Goldilocks—he was going to beat up my brother after school. At the appointed time, we all assembled. Goldilocks and his cronies. My brother and me. There was a lot of talk. It was going to be ten to one—the whole gang against my brother. And, if I wanted to get beat up too, then I was welcome to hang around.

I had a policy when we were growing up. Anybody who touches my brother deals with me. So I hung around.

Goldilocks and I stood chin to chin while the wolves circled, drooling for blood. I really didn’t know what I was going to do, except I knew I couldn’t back down. So I planted my hand on his chest, and sent him flying.

I think I was as surprised as he was. I didn’t know I had it in me. But, suddenly, the wolves had somewhere else they needed to be, and, after that, Goldilocks was always real polite to my brother and me.

We really don’t know God until we come to know Him in the valleys. There He shows up for us, and shows us what He’s really all about.

From the Bible:
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by David Stanley, Flickr, Creative Commons License

[God] leads me on the right path because that’s who He is. Psalm 23:3 The Easy Bible

Let’s review what this verse DOESN’T say. He doesn’t guide me because I’m a really nice guy. He doesn’t lead me because I’m a real man. He doesn’t teach me because I think I’m spiritual, or because my second grade teacher put stars on my papers.

God guides me for a reason bigger than me, a reason outside of me, a reason that doesn’t depend on me.

I don’t know about you, but I need verses like this one, and also Psalm 25:8 (God instructs sinners in His ways—it’s easy to qualify for that one!), Philippians 1:6 & 2:13 (God is at work in me). I need these verses because apart from God I’m not such a good guy, I need a God who is going to work with me even so.

If, like me, you don’t trust your own spirituality, your own commitment to Christ, rejoice that you can count on God’s commitment to you.

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by Hans Clough

A few years ago, I tried coming up with a testimony to give at a small group I belonged to. I couldn’t figure out how to put my arms around what God has done in my life.

That bothered me. So many people have dramatic testimonies—God saved them from booze—or God saved them from bankruptcy—or they left their lucrative business and followed God to the mission field—or whatever. My life has been transformed by God, but I couldn’t figure out how to show that to someone.

Then it came to me. The real testimony is not that God got us out of debt (though He did), or that He kept me from getting run over by a train (though He did that also), or that He put money in my mailbox anonymously (yes, He did that too). The real testimony is this: He restores my soul.

I realized that my testimony is deeply personal. God showed up for me in the dark places of my heart—in my bitterness, in my frustration, in my feelings of inadequacy, in my loneliness, in my arrogance. With kindness that I confess I don’t understand, God is gently rebuilding my identity so that I am less and less a lonely, paranoid, bitter man and more and more a son of God.

I hope and pray that you can say the same, that God is meeting you in your places of weakness and filling them with His strength.

May that be true for you today!

From the Bible:
He restores my soul. Psalm 23:3

Remember, you are designed to make a difference!

Dwight

Photo credit: Adapted from a photo by Hans Clough