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For many years, I didn’t understand how real change takes place. We think we can just modify our behavior. But it goes much deeper than that. Here’s an example:
In the past, when my wife got sick, I got angry. I really treated her poorly. Here she was sick, in bed, trying to get better, and I was demanding to know when she would be better, accusing her of trying to push her responsibilities off on me, yada yada. I really was being a jerk. And, like most of us, I was mostly blind to what a huge jerk I was being.
At some point, I started processing why I was feeling upset when she was sick. I discovered—no big surprise—that it stemmed from something that happened in my childhood. When my mom got sick, I felt terribly unsafe. As a result, this message got drilled into my heart: When the woman in your life is sick, you are not safe.
I didn’t even realize I was walking around with this message in my heart.
But God did. I don’t remember the exact way God replaced that message with truth, but He did. As a result, I was no longer controlled by that belief.
This change in perspective brought me to this experiential belief: I am perfectly safe even though the woman in my life might be sick.
The next time my wife got sick, instead of browbeating her, I was compassionate and helpful without being filled with resentment. That change was NOT a result of me setting some goal to change my behavior. It was 100% a gift from God.
If you’d like to better understand this process of how we change, I invite you to check out my Inner Wealth subscription.
